You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
