I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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