The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
