There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
