nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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