what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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