I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
