I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
