My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
