I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
