Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize