I skipped work to stalk him.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
