If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
