I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
