Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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