even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
