i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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