Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
