Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
