Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
