You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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