WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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