yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
