He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
