if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
