I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How's work?
Spinning.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
