My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He better not be in your backpack
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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