Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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