the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize