I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
