kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
