Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
