Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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