her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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