Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
