I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize