Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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