No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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