So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
