Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
