i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You're like the curious george of whores
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
