i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
