last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
