i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Terrible idea I love it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
