Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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