I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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