i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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