you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize