I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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