fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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