So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
