did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize