i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
