We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can I color on your dick again?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
