Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
