Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
