I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize