like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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