so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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